That list is a little dated (phone patch?? Haven't used one of those since the '60s.)? Perhaps we can bring it into the 21st century.

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* When you would normally pause in your transmission, such as when there might be a comma or a period in a sentence, give out your callsign.? Try to maximize the number of times you give your callsign in each transmission.? That way people will never forget you.

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* Use an HT with its rubber duckie antenna inside the vehicle as a mobile.? Don't EVER use an external antenna or a speaker/mike -- make everybody strain to understand you.

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* Use a Chinese HT with its rubber duckie antenna inside the vehicle as a mobile.? Note:? this is permissible for the first full week after getting your Technician ticket, which gives you enough time to obtain a real radio.

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* When people complain about the signal from your Chinese HT with its rubber duckie antenna inside a vehicle, blame it on the repeater, interference due to propagation or intermod, or the ever-increasing noise floor.

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* If there's a conversation going on, be sure to break in with a completely off-topic transmission.? No matter what the topic was, keep interrupting with random, off-topic comments.

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* When required to give your callsign, say it as fast as possible -- the object is to get it over with as quickly as you can, not to allow others to actually know what it is.

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* Don't read the manual for your radio -- that way you can avoid all those tricky simplex requests or suggestions to boost your power output.

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73,

John DE K5JY