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Ro,

I have checked the "reply to group", yet reply to sender still appears
as an option. Am I missing something here? how can I remove the option
to reply to sender?

As Duane and Xaun Loc have explained, you can't.

The Reply To option in the group settings (as currently implemented) has no effect upon the web interface. Rather, it sets a field in outbound messages that most email clients/software use to control the behavior of the Reply button.

So I would like in Settings when I set it to reply to group, that
becomes the ONLY way to reply and the Reply to Sender button either
doesnt appear or doesnt work ...

For replies by email the existing control is as close to that as you can get.

For replies through the group's web interface, I think giving group moderators such an option might be very unpopular with members.

Not what I am taking about. I am talking about having clickable
buttons for Reply to Group and Reply to Sender. Newbies are always
using the wrong one. I want them I have to consciously send private
emails if that is their choice, not have a button option for it to
confuse then.

Well, you did say you want a group setting that would eliminate the member's option to use the "Send to Sender" button on the group's reply function. I would be against that.

sounds like this might be a programming change, since I have done all i
can, and is better addressed in the beta group.

Yes this would be a programming change, something that you'd have to suggest in beta@ (I recommend including the hashtags #messages #reply #suggestions in your subject line).

What I would support, rather than a new option, would be to make the existing Reply To option control which Send to button is shown to the members, but with a drop menu next to the button where the member may choose any one of the three Reply To selections (Group, Sender, Moderators). Visually the menu could be represented by a downward pointing arrow to click on, adjacent to the button. That is, it wouldn't need to take up much screen space (and would save the space taken up by one of the existing buttons).

This would preserve the member's ability to deliberately select the destination, but would also provide a strong default that matches the typical "Reply" behavior in email.

I think this would be of particular interest to groups who's Reply To setting is "Sender" (such as Freecycle/Freegle style groups). For them, having messages misdirected to the Group is probably an even bigger annoyance.

-- Shal
P.S., see also this thread in beta@
/g/beta/thread/online_replies/223643