Your fears around the darkside of internet could be getting in your way of connecting with your son.?
Are you unconsciously hanging around to 'keep an eye' on what he is?doing on internet? - Do tune in with the energy within you.?
If he has his private room where he uses his gadgets and he is 12, he would require privacy.?
My son is now 17 and daughter is 21. When they were 12, I could see the desire for privacy got enhanced. They shared stuff with me at their will. I did not badger them for information. I simply stayed in trust and openness, to reflect the energy of being approachable. I stayed curious in a positive way, not inquisitive in a fearful way.
While they explored stuff I did not always know of, I worked on my doubts and fears and building trust muscles inside me.
Have you given any kind of verbal or non-verbal signals about your fears around gaming and internet, that he might have caught on to? - Try to stay mindful of that, since that could be blocking trust.
I am 51 years old and I do not appreciate anyone looking at my screen when I am working on it or simply browsing or texting; I find it very annoying and intrusive. I don't see why that should be different for a 12-year-old.?
If your son's work station is in a family room or commom room, like it is in our home, then one way to stay connected without getting in the way or without being intrusive is to set up your work station in the same space, but in a different corner. You both can silently do your own thing and you are still connected with your son. This is what I did for years, and even today I often stay in the common space and read, crochet, text, surf net, do other work that needs my lap top.?
I sometimes watch something and if I find it interesting I ask him if I can share with him. We send reels to each other or share forwards, that way we stay connected.
When children know for sure that they won't be judged for how they use the internet or what content they came across, chances are likely they will share more. If they see that it does not cause fear in parents, they will share more.?
Dola
