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-=-He has decided he wants to become an International Baccalaureate student, score a 43 (out of possible 45) on his IB test and move to France to become a dentist (with minimal expense compared to US student debt) and live there.-=-

It sounds like a plan.
It could be a problem that the plan is so particular and limited to a single outcome.??

It might be a kindness by helping him soften any absolute language (if he's using "will" or "when" or "have to") to things like "might" or "if" or "could."

When homeschooling was new and unschoolers were not separate for their own discussions, there were a couple of parents who described how they were helping a child achieve a goal by charts on the wall with particular milestones.? One was about getting into Harvard at a certain age, and the other was an Olympic Gold Medal.

Neither parents nor aggressively intent kids can guarantee either of those outcomes.? Those kids were set up to fail, by too pinprick-sized acceptable ends.? The college chart was on the wall over the kid's bed, I'm pretty sure the parent said.? This was in AOL days, or one might've even been before that, on the Microsoft User Group where homeschooling was discussed before AOL. :-)? Long time back, and neither family was unschooling.? But I am haunted when I remember those stories.? ?

Graduating from a university other than Harvard would be failure, and betrayal of the parental assistance.? ?An Olympic silver medal?? Ditto.

Those now-adults must have clear memories of those charts, and of conversations about them, too.??
___________

A phrase that has worked magic in my life is "That would be nice!"

I learned it from my son, Marty, when he was a young adult.? We had a mutual friend, between our ages.? He would come to visit me to discuss philosophy and his doings and status in a club we were all in.? He would hang out with Marty sometimes, to go places, to do things (in the club or out).? He was lots of fun.? ?

This fun friend was not reliable, and would not always show up, even if he had proposed the arrangements and time and such.??

I was frustrated with him, but Marty was not.? I asked why, and Marty said he assumed Ben might fail to appear, so when a plan was proposed, instead of saying yes, okay, I'll be here/there waiting, Marty would say "That would be nice!"??

Categorizing something as a "might happen" could be the difference between success and failure.

Choices all along the way could change the outcome without failure, if the choices are more important than the goal.? It shouldn't keep someone from reaching a goal, if it's still his "dream" or intent, but he would have gotten there by 90 decisions instead of by ONE.

Any place else the 90 decisions led would be a win, too.

Sandra