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toddler diet [previously called (unknown)]
I
As far as the junk food; toddlers need surprisingly little food volume and variety isn't a concern yet. As long as he's not underweight (if he is, this is a medical issue instead) then I would offer a selection of foods and stand back. If a baby's on the low end of the scale, don't forget the scale belongs to the AMA and has to do with statistics, rather than with the health or realities of individual humans. ?There can't be an average without some people at the extremes, and some are naturally at the extremes from genetics, and they are at their OWN "normal" (midrange for their own body's development, as their body has no idea about other organisms of the same age). I'm guessing by "underweight" maybe the writer meant unhealthily scrawny or dangerously thin. ? Holly seems scrawny to me. ?She always has. ?But she's strong and active and so I just don't worry about her bones showing. ?I'm sure it will pass sooner than she'd like it to (given the prevailing prejudices in the land in which she lives). Sandra |
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Re: 4yo reading questions
I'm not sure how much he's actually reading The cool thing is that you don't NEED to know. ?You don't have to grade him compared to another 25 kids, and you don't even have to report to his parents every six or nine weeks! ? There might be lulls in his progress instead of a sharp, steady curve. It sounds like he's having fun with it, and as long as he sees it as something desireable and joyful, however it comes will be good. Sandra |
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Re: Toddler Eating
In a message dated 11/27/01 9:11:35 AM Mountain Standard Time, Otterspur@... writes:
." Those who won't eat sliced cheese Grated cheese goes over well here. ?I still, even though the youngest is ten, grate about a third again more cheese than I need, because it will be eaten as soon as it leave the grater. Sandra |
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Re: fantasy gaming vs real challenges (was Re: Expensive Ga...
In a message dated 11/27/01 9:15:17 AM Mountain Standard Time, PSoroosh@... writes:
. I'd sure rather have them developing that sense of distance and hand-eye coordination now, then wait until they're behind the wheel of their first car, for example! OH! I've had that thought in my mind a lot lately, now that Kirby is fifteen and talking about driver's ed. ?I have no doubt that he'll be a really good driver, because he's really good at Nintendo games, and he's physically cautious in general. ? As some of you come across and watch the new Nintendo Game Cube game Monkeyball, watch what fine movement is required to go through those mazes. ?I watched Kirby and Marty play it the first time they picked it up and thought "This will make them better drivers." ? And before someone snorts and says "That's not real and cars are," I will say that I see them care more about keeping a character on an intricate course than some of the drivers I saw yesterday cared about keeping their car in a lane of traffic! Sandra |
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Re: fantasy gaming vs real challenges (was Re: Expensive Gam...
In a message dated 11/27/2001 1:05:04 AM Pacific Standard Time, vegan4planet@... writes:
I will try to be more careful about how and what I post. I really don't Well - it is always nice to have someone around willing to voice thoughts that might be worth considering even if they are unpopular among unschoolers. As long as you don't get upset when people disagree with you! I mean, I disagreed with you about these kinds of games not being satisfying for the reasons you gave, but it made me think about how this is one of those things where there is something inherent in them that makes people always want more and more. And that is worth thinking about. It isn't the same as playing a game of checkers or a game of backgammon or even a game of Pictionary. There are all these things to BUY and keep on buying to add to your set. So, ongoing money expenditure is involved and that makes it different and worth spending some time thinking about. And - there is an obsessive quality to them -- that is absent in other kinds of games. I think THAT is the crux of the anxiety that parents sometimes feel -- it makes us uncomfortable when our kids are obsessive about anything. Why? --pam |
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Re: (unknown)
In a message dated 11/27/2001 8:38:10 AM Pacific Standard Time, SandraDodd@... writes:
Let him hold something interesting that you're buying, something unbreakable but colorful and fun. Ah - memories..... As soon as we got to the grocery store we'd go to the bags of dry beans and split peas and stuff like that. They'd pick out a "baby." They cuddle and play with their bag of beans all through the store - talk to it and sing to it and so on. I don't know how this whole thing started - I think it was by accident with my oldest and she passed it down to the younger kids. --pam |
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Re: fantasy gaming vs real challenges (was Re: Expensive Games)
I started volunteering at an animal shelter four years ago. A few women
with good intentions got in way over their heads with a no kill shelter. Before they knew it they had forty five dogs and dozens of cats. I went there looking for my friend's cat who had vanished. They had no money except what they could personally contribute. I felt the only thing I could do was plunge in and help. It cost us a small fortune. I spent more on that volunteer work than any of us have ever spent in the pursuit of entertainment. Not only the money but the commitment of time. My son was with me but for months on end I never had any time with my husband. New cats were coming in all the time. People would say, if we didn't take the cats they'd be killed. So naturally we'd try to make room. They would have to be quarantined, vaccinated, spayed. Each new cat cost the shelter (us) a minimum of $100. (that's if they weren't sick ) and that didn't include food and litter pan, etc. One of the very committed volunteers left when her husband threatened divorce over the issue. Things are better at the shelter after an organized fund raising drive, sponsors and several grants, but the point is, doing something *real* can cost plenty. It can tear you up emotionally, threaten a happy home life and put you in debt. Yes, it can be worth it, but it's not always the beautiful picture of fulfillment painted by the TV commercials. I have found a replacement and am taking some time off. Maybe forever. Where's that chess board... Deb L, also vegan, HI Makana!! |
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Re: fantasy gaming vs real challenges (was Re: Expensive Ga...
My oldest (17 tomorrow) has her first behind-the-wheel driving lesson on Thursday morning at 10 am.
I can only WISH she'd been playing Nintendo for years!!!!! I learned to drive in a simulator -- it was great fun and VERY VERY VERY good. I felt comfortable by the time I was behind the wheel of a real car. I can't believe she's going to get behind the wheel of a car and just DRIIIIIIIIVE!! Not that I'm nervous --- but AAAAACKKKKKK!!!!!!! --pam |
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(No subject)
This is a question I decided to send to this list in addition to another
list: OK, Here is my question (Please be gentle with your answers! LOL) Once the above (the above was a statement regarding kids that through tantrums to get what they want in stores and the writer's opinion that it is due to the parent not being consistant in their responses thereby increasing the child's tantrum - totally paraphrased) has become a pattern - how does one change it? How does one set the limit yet still maintain respect and teh child autonomy? I tend to have good days (respecting their wishes, everyone cooperating, watching the hunger/anger/lonely/tired thing, modeling behavior and then all of a sudden I realize that there has been some yelling, disrespect etc and I'm not sure what got us there. Also, the eating issue (I really wish S was here to answer this one) My two year old is down to eating nothing until he gets junk. Would removing it from the house for a period of time help? Might it give him the space to try other healthier foods and realize he likes them? I don't want to be a food controller yet I am starting to become concerned over his eating habits. Yesterday he ate a bowl of rice crispies with milk and then nothing else! He is still nursing so that eases my fear somewhat. I have also thought about not arguing and letting him nurse as much as desired but I am at that nursing stage where it is starting to get a little irritating physically as my cycle ebbs and flows (pun intended LOL) Elissa |
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Re: (unknown)
Karen Matlock
¿ªÔÆÌåÓýGood
*days*? I have good *mornings* that degenerate into yelling, disrespect, and
(the recent favorite) the Disgruntled Glare. Yesterday was such a day. Had I
been dh, ds10 would have been grounded for at least a week. Since I try not to
resort to meaningless retribution, I got him out of the situation, let him stew
awhile, and by evening, I was walking by the couch where he was sitting and he
said quietly, "I love you," whereupon I gave him a big ol' hug, the kind that
ds10s hate (in public, anyway.) Now I know yours is two and mine is ten, but the
principle is the same. I try to stop and feel where they are, when I haven't and
I've been an ogre, I apologize. When mine was that age and I blew up, I'd put
myself in time out and tell him so. The novelty was enough to stop the behavior
and he wanted to comfort me. Setting limits is just the household rules, which
apply to everyone: respect others' property, use appropriate language, keep up
with your responsibilities. I have to show him that I do that myself, as well as
showing what I do when I screw up. Please don't be a perfect mother; I had one
(still do) and I'm still getting over it.
?
As far
as the junk food; toddlers need surprisingly little food volume and variety
isn't a concern yet. As long as he's not underweight (if he is, this is a
medical issue instead) then I would offer a selection of foods and stand back.
I've never harped on the issue, and?I'm fortunate that it's not (much of)
an problem here. You can find "junky" looking foods that aren't too bad,
health-nut-wise, just check out the cereal and cookie aisle at your neighborhood
health food store. If all he wanted was rice krispies and milk three times a
day, that's not so bad either, just throw in a multivitamin now and then. And is
he old enough to have his own lower shelf in the kitchen that you can stock with
whatever he'll eat? (Plus a few of your own selections, of course!) It's all
about control at that age; take yourself out of the loop as much as possible.
?
Karen
cautiously unlurking here
? ?-----Original Message-----
From: ElissaJC@... [mailto:ElissaJC@...] Sent: Tuesday, November 27, 2001 7:19 AM To: AlwaysLearning@... Subject: [AlwaysLearning] (unknown) This is a question I decided to send to this list in addition to another |
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Re: fantasy gaming vs real challenges (was Re: Expensive Ga...
but I'm concerned about the creation and manipulation of desire for power. Maybe it's only an acknowledgement and an exercise in the very REAL desire for power kids have. ?If they can have the feeling of power without needing to bully other humans or steal stereos to get it, I say more power to 'em!! Sandra |
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Re: (unknown)
. And is he old enough to have his own lower shelf in the kitchen that you
can stock with whatever he'll eat? (Plus a few of your own selections, of course!) It's all about control at that age; take yourself out of the loop as much as possible. I think I will do this. He really likes tht he can now open the pantry door and take out food. I think I will use the bottom shelf for snacks. Great idea! Elissa |
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Re: fantasy gaming vs real challenges (was Re: Expensive Ga...
In a message dated 11/27/01 11:39:46 AM Mountain Standard Time, ecsamhill@... writes:
Does anyone have insight into where satisfaction at a job well done comes from? ?Can it only be destroyed by being a perfectionist, or are there other ways it might be undermined? That's a topic about the size of the universe, I think. Different people are more or less affected by others' opinions or expressions. ?Some are SO dependent on others' approval that it's considered detrimental (co-dependency). ?Some care so little about the opinions of others it's considered pathological (sociopath?). ? Balance. No sense living your future on an old accomplishment. ?"I was a cheerleader!" shouldn't be depended on to take a woman happily into her 40's. It seems to me those the happiest with their accomplishments are those who were the most realistic about what they hoped to do, what the risk of failure was, who were doing it selflessly and generously, and who plan to try again to do it better another time anyway. ?Those who would have been happy with failure too seem to have a healthier happiness with success. Sandra |
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Re: fantasy gaming vs real challenges (was Re: Expensive G...
I'm often heard to mutter "These people learned to drive playing Nintendo and haven't figured out that this freeway doesn't HAVE a Restart button." We expected Marty to be in the hospital a time or two in his youth. ??He was a brave baby. ?But he's a cautious and skillful older kid. ?He stepped on a nail and got a tetanus shot. ?In all his skating (roller blade and icerink) and bike and skateboard stuff, he's never been hurt. He gives good advice to other kids too. ?So because he's not reckless, I'm not worried. When I learned to drive I didn't even know how to start the car, an automatic, the first day of driving. ?My three car-mates had already driven some with their parents. ?I was clue-free and not great at spatial reasoning, and I've never had worse than dents in the driveway and fenderbenders. ?I would have done better with some Nintendo practice in my own youth. ?Bummer not even Pong was invented yet. Sandra |
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Re: fantasy gaming vs real challenges (was Re: Expensive Games)
KT
I think that's a pretty big assumption that folks who play games don't *also* do the sort of things you're talking about. It's not either/or. Tuck |
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Re: fantasy gaming vs real challenges (was Re: Expensive Ga...
In a message dated 11/27/01 1:15:37 PM Mountain Standard Time, Tuck@... writes:
The difference between the big city and the country, I suppose. ?I can't imagine anyone having driving lessons around here (except maybe those teens who are forced to go to driver's ed in school because of insurance rates or others who go to avoid a fine or something). ?Not that driving lessons aren't NEEDED by some around here. ?lol. It was like that in New Mexico when I was learning. ?Most didn't take driver's ed. The laws just lately changed. ?There's a three-phase deal up to full license. ?Anyone who doesn't want to take driver's ed has to wait until they're 18 (I think; I could be wrong) to take a test. There are no more learner's permits except the one you get when you sign up for driver's ed. It requires, in addition to the classes, six hours (I think) with the instructor (which replaces the driving-with-a-test-guy which was part of the old licensing procedure), and fifty logged hours with licensed drivers who sign off, and I think ten of those have to be at night, and FULL hours. ?That's a lot of driving, just to get past the permit stage. Then they have provisional. ?With a provisional license you can't drive certain hours (midnight to 5:00 a.m.?? something...) and you can only have one person in the car who is not a member of your family. ?The way to get to the next stage is to go a year without any citations. ?So any ticket on a provision license starts that year over again. Kirby has more and more driving friends. ?They're all really good. ?They critique my driving. ?I let them. ?It's good practice, and it raises my own confidence about their knowledge of the laws and of safety. ?("I didn't see a turn signal," Brett said last week. ?"You can't see it from there," I said. ?I hadn't used one because there was nobody else in sight and I was turning into my neighborhood, and there was no one to whom I needed to communicate that turn, but driver's ed says use it anyway to keep in the habit.) Sandra |
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Play Value and toys
In a message dated 11/27/2001 2:20:03 PM Eastern Standard Time, AlwaysLearning@... writes:
My kids used to love getting new Pogs. ?It gave them joy, frenzied delight, This makes me think, as we head into Christmas, of the things we've spent money on, and what has been worth it, and what hasn't. Upstairs there are many, many Beanie Babies, at about $5 each. They're not collectible, because we did the unthinkable and immediately removed the tags so Julian could PLAY with them. And he has, and still sometimes does, even though he's twelve. (He's a major animal freak.) The Playmobile castle stuff was ridiculously expensive, but again, it was played with so much it was worth it.Over the years we've bought other stuff that hardly got used at all, and even if it was cheap, it wasn't worth it. The D&D stuff certainly is, although I often wonder where those dice go...it always seems we're buying dice.... Kathryn |
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Re: Toddler Eating/Tantrums
Just wanted to add my thoughts to this. . . I have the same kind of issues with Quinton who is 2. . . I get the same really uncomfortableness when I am on my cycles and he nurses. Usually its at night, and sometimes he will go with his Papa if I ask him, albeit a bit grudgingly. When my cycle stops, it is fine again, and we are back to both enjoying nursing. If we can try to get more food in him on those days it helps a lot. I have the low shelf for him and he usually gets what he wants snack wise. He has even gone into the fridge to fix himself some chocolate milk when we didnt hear his request. After he spilled on the floor he came and asked us for a napkin. :)
On the tantrum thing. . . . Today it was just he and I gone Christmas shopping, something I am usually not crazy about doing alone with him, because of the frequent meltdowns when he doesn't get exactly what he wants exactly when he wants it. Right before we went into the mall I bent down with him and asked him if he could listen when I called him and not run away from me. I told him that it would really be nice if we could do all those things and we could stay longer if he could help me out with that. He smiled and said okay, I can do that. And he was absolutely wonderful. . . we stayed out almost all day, had a great time together, came home, he nursed and is now asleep. And now I am reading some suggestions about tantrums that I happened to have implemented today and am so happy to say they worked great!! I get so frustrated sometimes because he is sooooooooo different from Lelia . . . who was just so agreeable about everything at that age. I have had a hard time having enough patience. . . I suspect that is the gift he brings to me. . . the opportunity to have more patience. One other thing is I want to say how pleased I am to be on this list. It "feels" really good. It feels like people here are really committed to unschooling and I am so looking forward to sharing and learning with all of you. lovemary |
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Re: Limits, food
On Tue, 27 Nov 2001 08:05:57 -0500 <ElissaJC@...> writes:
oneOK, Here is my question (Please be gentle with your answers! LOL)Once the above has become a pattern - how does one change it? How does set the limit yet still maintain respect and teh child autonomy? Ithen all of a sudden I realize that there has been some yelling, disrespect etc andI'm not sure what got us there.I'm not a big fan of "limits". I prefer to frame it as meeting everyone's needs. I don't want my kid to think "Mom said no so I have to stop asking", I want her to understand why mom said no... or, actually, mom rarely says no outright, I tend more to say, "I'm rather not do X because Y" or "I'm worried that it we X, Y will happen." and then she'll either agree, or have a plan to avoid Y, or whatever. I also think it helps to talk about stuff before it gets out of hand, like, "I'm feeling a bit stressed with all the noise and crowds here already and I'd like to get this shopping trip down fast, so could you just go get X and Y and meet me at the checkout, and we'll zoom?" And I try to excourage and listen to her, too, when i want to stop at the grocery store because we're out of milk and she says, "Could we not today, I really just want to go home." then we don't stop, because she only says it when she really isn't up to a trip... And there are off days, of course, cranky grumpy times, and often the best thing to do then seems to be to call a halt to whatever we're doing and go out for coffee and chess... just take a break. Also, the eating issue (I really wish S was here to answer this one)the space to try other healthier foods and realize he likes them? I don'twant to be a food controller yet I am starting to become concerned over his eating habits.Yesterday he ate a bowl of rice crispies with milk and thennothing else! He is still nursing so that eases my fear somewhat. I have alsothought about not arguing and letting him nurse as much as desired but I am atRice Krispies are fine, really. That plus breastmilk makes a pretty healthy diet, IMO. I really think the food thing ebbs and flows, children spend months or a year or two eating this seemingly narrow range, then suddenly start trying all sorts of things, if they aren't coerced into it. I know many, many small children who ate only a few things, and they're all fine... Sometimes trying to limit nursing makes kids want to nurse more, I'm not sure if you're limiting it all the time or just those days of the month... It is hard to feel good about nursing when it's physically uncomfortable, though. My daughter used to generally nurse more when we stayed around the house, if your son is the same way then maybe planning more out of the house activities on those days would help... Dar ________________________________________________________________ GET INTERNET ACCESS FROM JUNO! Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less! Join Juno today! For your FREE software, visit: . |
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